Stalker Date

Have you dated someone who was a STALKER? Who was obsessed with you? who was a Bug-a Boo? I mean what are these dudes thinking? I hope they don't think that its cute to chase a woman down to the point that she is scared for her life and wants to file a restraining order. I had a guy recently who I dated for such a small amount of time that I didn't even understand where all the EXTRA was coming from. The constant emails and calls begging to speak to you. I mean c'mon wtf is really good no wonder you're single. I had another dude I used to date that told me straight up that he would not stop calling me until I had changed my phone number. I mean what is that about? Is that supposed to make me answer your calls or respond to your many texts and emails? Are guys that pressed for a female that they go to extremes. A girlfriend of mine recently told me that a guy she dated was going through her trash and found out her work address after she broke it off with him. When is enough is enough? When is a woman saying to a man hey it's over and let's leave it at that just be THAT. Why should there be anymore especially if there's a breakup and maybe not a friendly one at that? What pushes a guy over the edge to the point that they start to harass a woman? Aren't we ALL adults? If I say please leave me alone shouldn't that be just that. Do I need to say it a different way or in a different language? Is there a different interpretation for leave me alone? I used to have this boyfriend who a bit crazy so I left him alone. Well it didn't stop there. It started with him popping up at places he knew I would be at to him calling my friends and family to find out where I was. Can we get your life together. What's really going on? When someone says its over its over. Granted there maybe a slight chance that if you have feelings for the person you may try to win them back but not to the point where they fear you. That's not even cool. So with all that said guys and girls too being a stalker is NOT cool. Its downright scary. Who wants to constantly watch their back just because you don't understand that we're broken up. It's bad enough we have other things to worry about while dating but stalkers too... wow what is this world coming to....lol

Bad Date

What constitutes a bad date? A bad date could be two people just not feeling each other or mainly one not feeling the other and it shows. Or it could be the event or things that occur during the event. There could be a lot of reasons as to why a date goes bad. And I've had my fair share of bad dates. All in all they are lessons to be learned. I always try to think about what part I played in the bad date and vice versa. Now there are ways to come back from a bad date but some are just not fixable. lol. I had one guy I went out with (and I will take a lot of blame here) that I showed up late to where we were supposed to meet. He kept calling me but I was on a long distance VERY IMPORTANT phone call so I would not click over. When I finally called him he had left our meeting spot but said he would meet me closer to where we were supposed to have dinner. Ok fine. So I get to our meeting spot and park my car and he meets me at my car and then we drive around looking for parking for his car. SO he decides to park right in front of the restaurant. Now I should've known something was up because you are not allowed to park in front of the establishment. He tells me not to worry about it that he'll just get a ticket. Umm ok. Moving right along we get inside the restaurant. Now here is when things really go sour. He starts talking (bragging) about himself and how he has this and that. So I pretend I'm listening but its hard to focus because I'm supposed to meet my girls after dinner with this dude and they keep blowing up my phone. Now granted usually I would put my phone on silence but because I had to meet them somewhere I kept it on vibrate. So the more he talked about self the more I lost interest and the more my phone buzzed. I apologized profusely but honestly I didn't even care. So now we order. He orders an appetizer along with dinner. The appetizer comes he devours it then excuses himself to the bathroom....... 15 min later I'm like wtf is up. Did he get sick? ... 30 min later and I call his phone goes to vm. I call a few more times-same thing. wtf. no wait for real did dude leave? So I have my friend call him and he picks up and as soon as she mentions my name the phone disconnects. Ok so now I know that my DATE left me. lol. I can't believe this. But I find it hilarious until the waitress comes over. I explain to her the situation she asks me do I still want his meal to come out (umm NO) and then she tells me to just enjoy my dinner but that I will have to pay for the appetizer he ate. wtf. are you serious right now. So now I'm mad but you know what I don't even care. I sit and enjoy my dinner and her tip was right there in the appetizer. Did I hear from him again of course not. Did I learn a lesson. You bet. Don't go out with ugly dudes just for a free dinner. lol. especially if you're not interested for real. So that goes down as WORST DATE EVER. Do I and the few friends I told still laugh about it. Of course.

Interracial Dating

What exactly does that mean? Most people consider interracial dating to be a black/white couple. But there can be all types of interracial dating. I wanted to post this today because I recently went on a date with my friend who happens to be Caucasian. As you can see I have no problem dating outside of my race. I guess it has something to do with my background and the way I was raised. I try not to look at someones race as an issue we are ALL equal in my opinion. We all bleed, cry, hurt, love and go through the same things however different it maybe for you or others. Needless to say while I was out with my friend we passed a guy who happened to be my race and he started making rude comments and shouting obscenities about us. I tried to ignore the situation and start conversing with my friend who I am sure heard the person as well. It's almost scary-what do you do in that situation? Is it fair for someone to judge whom you choose to date?

I was watching the Black in America series and there was a young black woman on there who spoke of her white husband and biracial children. She talked about how his family would make remarks about their relationship and not just his family but strangers in passing as well. Again why is it that people feel they can pass judgement on other people's relationships? I hear the stories about the black women who get upset when they see a white woman dating a black man. Who cares? Why is it any of your concern? Clearly that's who he chose and you shouldn't be trying to figure out what went wrong and why he didn't choose you or someone else. That is his preference just like we all have preferences. Why should we knock someone for their decision.

Something New was a movie in which a black woman starts dating a white man. She has to deal with her feelings for this man as well as the reaction of her family, friends, and strangers. And I could completely understand what she was going through. You want to try "something new" but then you're afraid because you don't know what peoples reactions are going to be. And not that someones reaction should dictate your relationship but you feel uncomfortable when you hear remarks and stares just because of who you are with. You feel uncomfortable to hold their hand, kiss them in public but at the same time you don't want the uncomfortableness to show through. You want everything to seem normal just as if you were out with someone of your own race. You try to get past the uncomfortableness but its hard. And then eventually I'm sure it gets to a point where you just say Fu*k it. Anyway I don't really know where I am going with this I just needed to get my thoughts out. But people need to either mind their business or be more open minded. This is the new millennium let's get it together.....it's no longer Jungle Fever you can't help who you love....... so I'm going to keep pressing on and try to move pass the haters and keep dating whomever I want whether they be purple, Asian, or whatever. I just want peace and happiness.

The Annoying Date

How can a date be annoying and you haven't even gone on one? I'll tell you how. There are guys who just chill and are laid back and there are those that I would call Eager Beavers. First of all guys if you like a female it's fine to let her know but not on a constant basis if you just met a few days days prior. It gets a bit annoying. To tell a female that you JUST met you miss her can be a bit scary. It kind of puts me off like wtf. I don't even know you. Don't by no means tell a female that (again) you just met that you've been staring at pictures of her and thinking about her all day. Wow. Let us at least be on the same page first or just actually hold that thought. I'm not knocking you if you just instantly fell head over heels but if you can tell the recipient is not feeling the same way cool it a bit. Turn it down a notch. Don't plan vacations and rendezvous' for future dates when we haven't even had a first one. How do you (guy) know that you'll make it past another week? a month? All I'm saying is that some guys need to chill. What's the rush? Just take it easy. To add to it if you're meeting someone online and we DON'T know each other please be easy. I had to delete one guy because he was just asking too many questions after about 3 hours of me starting my account. I already knew where he worked, lived, his phone # and email. I'm like wow you waste no time. And maybe that's me being cautious but the whole over the top look is not cute-you're doing too much. Just fall back a bit. This is not the case for all guys but there are a few that fall through the cracks and it makes you wonder why they maybe single.....

Dating 101

Maybe this should've been my first post. I recently got into a conversation with someone regarding dating. I mean what exactly is dating? So I found a definition of what dating is:

a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
b. One's companion on such an outing.

So my definition doesn't vary too far from the definition I found. Dating to me is to go out with the person and getting to know them mainly for romantic reasons. Now people have their own definitions of what dating is. And then there is the question of dating vs courting? what's the difference? And there is one. The main difference seems to be that modern dating may include intimacy whereas courting does not. Courting consists of getting to fully know the person without any intimacy and leading to marriage. So there you have it. And most people like myself tend to date. I guess you can call me old fashioned but I do enjoy taking the time to get to know a person. There are some people who like a person and they may go out a few times and they just go straight into a relationship. Personally I feel that leaves room for failure because you're getting to know the person as you go along in a relationship and what if the person is not exactly what you want or thought. That's when relationships go sour. I rather save myself the headache and the heartache. Most of they guys I date anyway don't make it pass a few dates so why set myself up. And although a relationship is not marriage it's still a relationship. And for that reason alone I'm just a single girl dating......

Dating in Cyberspace or should I say MYspace

I've never been the one to venture to cyberspace for a date. I mean the idea sounded really crazy to me at first but now I'm not so sure. I mean I think I may actually be open to the idea. I've been reading articles and watching news programs where more and more couples are actually meeting online and getting married. Is this just a fad? a fake? or the real thing? I see the commercials for Match.com all the time and now they're even offering a promotion. I may just have to take them up on that and see what the possibilities may be. But then I go back and forth with myself and it brings me back to my original reasons for staying away from online dating. My reasons are what if this guy is a nutcase? but then again I guess that can qualify for any person you meet. What if this is not the person that he says he is? I mean let's say we swap pics and then we meet up and you look nothing like your pic isn't that a false pretense? I'm not being superficial either I'm just saying if I think you look like one thing and then you come off like wtf. lol. True story that happened to my friend. She had been talking to this guy on my space for awhile and then they met up for drinks well he was NOT at all what he looked like in the pics. The actual picture he sent was a throwback pic but at least she stayed had a drink on him of course and left never to contact him again. I know you may think she was wrong if she was feeling him prior to but isn't that a form of deception? Anyway my last reason is you just can never tell. I would much rather meet you face to face and follow my instincts then get caught up. I guess that's me being cautious. Anyway I think I may actually get a MYspace account just to see what this online dating is all about. I mean you never know my prince may come through for me right there on my screen... I'm open to the thought.....

Childless Dating

NOT ME. Sounds cruel but true. And I hate to be like that but I don't have children of my own. I want someone who is bringing the same thing that I am and that is no kids. And honestly its getting harder to find men who don't have kids. I hate asking that question do you have any children because 9 times out of 10 the answer will be YES. And I don't want to come flat out and say okay well talk to you later. lol. Now I can understand if you were married and are now divorced and have a child or children. That's understandable. But there are a lot of young men out here who have children and some times by not just one but two or three other females. I'm not judging them or their behavior but what's the problem. Why lay up with someone and have children by this person if you honestly don't see this person in your life. It's a sad situation for all. I understand that things don't work out and sh*t happens but it just seems a little too frequent for me.

As I seek that one person for me I would prefer that he be childless. Not because I'm against children but because there can also be a lot of drama that comes with that man and that child. I have dated a few guys with children and I always say to myself afterwards I will NEVER date another guy with kids. However, somehow there's always a guy who I'm interested in who comes with that little extra. Maybe I'm a little spoiled because I at times feel as if I have to compete for attention. Of course the child should be number one in that man's life but I also want to be number one and there can't be two number ones so then I fall back. And don't get started on the baby mama drama that can be associated with it. That's another day. I just want to be able to start fresh with someone that I am hopefully married to and that WE can bring OUR child into this world TOGETHER. Is that too much to ask for?