Sunday, March 29, 2009

What's a SINGLE girl to do?

So I'm getting pretty fed up with this dating world. I think I'm just getting fed up with the men that are available or that are or have dated me. I say this because it seems as if men in my age group are not really interested in commitment. Now I'm not saying that's true for ALL men because it isn't. I have friends who are engaged or married to great guys. I even have male friends who are serious about looking for a relationship but can't seem to find one, a good one anyway. So with all of that said recently I asked a friend of mine how was it going with this guy she was dating-her response was "umm I don't know what's going on." Then she proceeds to tell me that he is just too busy and not ready to commit to anything. I mean wtf. But I have heard this story one too many times as well so I know where she is coming from. What is it with guys in the late 20's to early 30's range being too busy and so work committed that they can't focus or have a relationship? Are men afraid of commitment? What do you think you're missing out on? You aren't getting any younger, when do you think that YOU will be ready? And yes it is true that women mature faster than men and maybe that's the reason why but then I'm like that's just an excuse. And then I'm thinking well maybe he isn't really all that into the person. Then my question is why spend so much time with this person? Why try to get to know a person for a long period of time to end up saying well I'm not looking for anything more? Wtf. Do you seriously think I need another friend? If I could count the long conversations, dinners, movies, evenings together, etc... that's a lot of time spent and WASTED. I don't know what the problem is but I wish these dudes would get it together. I'm all for you trying to get work in place amongst other things but don't miss out on a great person just because that's your focus. What options does that really leave us women? I guess we could date OLDER men ( I don't care for them too much), date women (umm I think not), or just remain SINGLE. But why? I know I won't get an answer but I guess I can remain optimistic and just see what happens. There has to be somebody out there for all of us SINGLE women.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Single Girl Dating Policies

So I’ve come to the conclusion that all men know what to do on a date. Not all men know proper dating etiquette. Now that can be for several reasons: they have no manners, the female(s) before have never expected them to, or they just don’t care. Most recently on MTV’s from G’s to Gents the G’s had a lesson on etiquette. They then had to display what they learned while on a date with Esther Baxter. It was quite hilarious how so many of them were clueless. Now I’m not saying all men have to follow this because not all women are into chivalry. However, I can say that this young lady right here is. And I don’t mean do these things ONLY on the first date. This should be done all the time especially if you’re dealing with a LADY. So listen up.

  • Please be sure to be well groomed. I mean I spent my 30 min in the shower and another 30 figuring out what to wear, another 30 doing my hair, and another 30 putting on makeup and other finishing touches. So if I took ALL of that time trying to make sure I look and smell good then the least you can do is the same. Hair should be combed, teeth and breath fresh, shoes shouldn’t be dirty or your clothes, jeans shouldn’t hang down to your kneecaps- we are adults dress like one, and most importantly your hands should be clean.

  • Please open all doors (including my car-even if I’m the driver) and pull out chairs if we’re out dining somewhere. And when I say open the doors I don’t mean open the door and you walk through. I mean open and hold the door let me walk through first and then you do the same. And as far as the car you can miss this one sometimes, I’ll let you slide.

  • Please if we’re going out to eat, I don’t care if it’s just IHOP- you should not be eating your food with your hands. That’s why we have eating utensils. It’s okay for certain foods but no for all. Basically if we’re out to eat, especially at a nice restaurant please turn your manners up a notch. That means no elbows on the table, no reaching across the table, no talking with your mouth full, no licking your fingers afterwards, no wearing your hat in the restaurant, put your napkin in your lap when the food first arrives, etc… If you need more dining manners Google it. I’m not saying you have to know which fork goes with what because even I don’t know all that but it may impress me if you do. Just know the basics. Lol.

  • And while we’re on the subject of eating please, please, please do not get onions or at least try not to eat them. Well not if you’re planning on kissing me. I can’t stand onions and onion breath is not easy to tame. I can offer you a hundred and one mints and I will still smell it, which will then make me turn my nose up in disgust. But if you MUST have onions have some mouthwash, toothbrush, or something just as strong on hand because gum and mints don’t always do the trick.

  • Please make sure that if we STOP at a gas station and you happen to be RIDING in my whip to get your a** out and pump the gas. I’m not saying you have to pay it (which would be nice since I am driving) but at least get out and pump. It’s the least you could do.

  • Please don’t be all loud and ghetto and all on your cell phone. Don't be cursing and whatnot all loud in public when do you have to take a call. I mean its okay to take a call here and there-well not really. Lol. But if it’s a call you were expecting or an emergency. Other than that the phone should be on silence, vibrate, or better yet off-you’re with me. Focus!!!

  • Eye contact is great. Don’t be looking at my booty or anywhere else for that matter. At least if we have good eye contact I know that you are focused on me and paying ME attention. That is always a plus!!!! (I could do better at this myself)

  • Being on time is a MUST. How can I wait on you when I’m already 10-15 min late? Lol. I’m late because of all that prep time I took to get ready for YOU so please try to be on time. And if I am on time and you’re not oh we’re going to have some problems. Both of us can’t be late. Lol. But I’m not a total witch about being on time if you know how to pick up the phone and call and say,”hey sorry but I am running late because of x, y, z.” I shouldn’t have to call your phone like 15-20 min after meeting time like “hey where are you?” No. That’s not cool. So just try to be on time. Leave the being late up to me. : )

  • Please don’t be super arrogant and so stuck on yourself that you talk a whole in MY head about YOU. It’s okay if I’m asking you questions about yourself but when you randomly start throwing out who you know, how much you make, and what you got then I’m already uninterested. Keep that to a minimum. And on the flip side don’t be a COMPLETE mute. I like to talk and I would appreciate someone to have a conversation with. Not just me yapping and you listening. It gets boring and old really fast. So if you think you won’t have much to say then maybe you should stay home.

  • This is an ultimate no- DO NOT come to pick me up for a date and sit outside blowing the horn. Be a gentleman. Get your lazy tail out of your car and walk to my door and ring my bell. Now this usually does not apply to me since I usually meet guys out as I don’t like people at my house. But this should apply anyway for anybody else.

  • And last but not least if you ask ME on a date I expect YOU to pay. Not for us to go dutch or for you to ask for help on the bill. You should be paying in full. I’m not saying we can’t ever go dutch or that I can’t sometimes pay for the date because I do but that needs to be discussed prior to so that I know what I’m getting myself into.

All in all dating should be about having fun. And we shouldn’t have rules but unfortunately we do. All I want is to be treated like a lady. I act like a lady so why not try treating me like one. It’s the least you can do and we’ll have a wonderful time. : )

And not ALL dudes totally disregard etiquette just some of the few I seem to pick up.