Thursday, July 31, 2008

The Annoying Date

How can a date be annoying and you haven't even gone on one? I'll tell you how. There are guys who just chill and are laid back and there are those that I would call Eager Beavers. First of all guys if you like a female it's fine to let her know but not on a constant basis if you just met a few days days prior. It gets a bit annoying. To tell a female that you JUST met you miss her can be a bit scary. It kind of puts me off like wtf. I don't even know you. Don't by no means tell a female that (again) you just met that you've been staring at pictures of her and thinking about her all day. Wow. Let us at least be on the same page first or just actually hold that thought. I'm not knocking you if you just instantly fell head over heels but if you can tell the recipient is not feeling the same way cool it a bit. Turn it down a notch. Don't plan vacations and rendezvous' for future dates when we haven't even had a first one. How do you (guy) know that you'll make it past another week? a month? All I'm saying is that some guys need to chill. What's the rush? Just take it easy. To add to it if you're meeting someone online and we DON'T know each other please be easy. I had to delete one guy because he was just asking too many questions after about 3 hours of me starting my account. I already knew where he worked, lived, his phone # and email. I'm like wow you waste no time. And maybe that's me being cautious but the whole over the top look is not cute-you're doing too much. Just fall back a bit. This is not the case for all guys but there are a few that fall through the cracks and it makes you wonder why they maybe single.....

Monday, July 28, 2008

Dating 101

Maybe this should've been my first post. I recently got into a conversation with someone regarding dating. I mean what exactly is dating? So I found a definition of what dating is:

a. An engagement to go out socially with another person, often out of romantic interest.
b. One's companion on such an outing.

So my definition doesn't vary too far from the definition I found. Dating to me is to go out with the person and getting to know them mainly for romantic reasons. Now people have their own definitions of what dating is. And then there is the question of dating vs courting? what's the difference? And there is one. The main difference seems to be that modern dating may include intimacy whereas courting does not. Courting consists of getting to fully know the person without any intimacy and leading to marriage. So there you have it. And most people like myself tend to date. I guess you can call me old fashioned but I do enjoy taking the time to get to know a person. There are some people who like a person and they may go out a few times and they just go straight into a relationship. Personally I feel that leaves room for failure because you're getting to know the person as you go along in a relationship and what if the person is not exactly what you want or thought. That's when relationships go sour. I rather save myself the headache and the heartache. Most of they guys I date anyway don't make it pass a few dates so why set myself up. And although a relationship is not marriage it's still a relationship. And for that reason alone I'm just a single girl dating......

Monday, July 21, 2008

Dating in Cyberspace or should I say MYspace

I've never been the one to venture to cyberspace for a date. I mean the idea sounded really crazy to me at first but now I'm not so sure. I mean I think I may actually be open to the idea. I've been reading articles and watching news programs where more and more couples are actually meeting online and getting married. Is this just a fad? a fake? or the real thing? I see the commercials for all the time and now they're even offering a promotion. I may just have to take them up on that and see what the possibilities may be. But then I go back and forth with myself and it brings me back to my original reasons for staying away from online dating. My reasons are what if this guy is a nutcase? but then again I guess that can qualify for any person you meet. What if this is not the person that he says he is? I mean let's say we swap pics and then we meet up and you look nothing like your pic isn't that a false pretense? I'm not being superficial either I'm just saying if I think you look like one thing and then you come off like wtf. lol. True story that happened to my friend. She had been talking to this guy on my space for awhile and then they met up for drinks well he was NOT at all what he looked like in the pics. The actual picture he sent was a throwback pic but at least she stayed had a drink on him of course and left never to contact him again. I know you may think she was wrong if she was feeling him prior to but isn't that a form of deception? Anyway my last reason is you just can never tell. I would much rather meet you face to face and follow my instincts then get caught up. I guess that's me being cautious. Anyway I think I may actually get a MYspace account just to see what this online dating is all about. I mean you never know my prince may come through for me right there on my screen... I'm open to the thought.....

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Childless Dating

NOT ME. Sounds cruel but true. And I hate to be like that but I don't have children of my own. I want someone who is bringing the same thing that I am and that is no kids. And honestly its getting harder to find men who don't have kids. I hate asking that question do you have any children because 9 times out of 10 the answer will be YES. And I don't want to come flat out and say okay well talk to you later. lol. Now I can understand if you were married and are now divorced and have a child or children. That's understandable. But there are a lot of young men out here who have children and some times by not just one but two or three other females. I'm not judging them or their behavior but what's the problem. Why lay up with someone and have children by this person if you honestly don't see this person in your life. It's a sad situation for all. I understand that things don't work out and sh*t happens but it just seems a little too frequent for me.
As I seek that one person for me I would prefer that he be childless. Not because I'm against children but because there can also be a lot of drama that comes with that man and that child. I have dated a few guys with children and I always say to myself afterwards I will NEVER date another guy with kids. However, somehow there's always a guy who I'm interested in who comes with that little extra. Maybe I'm a little spoiled because I at times feel as if I have to compete for attention. Of course the child should be number one in that man's life but I also want to be number one and there can't be two number ones so then I fall back. And don't get started on the baby mama drama that can be associated with it. That's another day. I just want to be able to start fresh with someone that I am hopefully married to and that WE can bring OUR child into this world TOGETHER. Is that too much to ask for?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Second Date??? Maybe....

SO the newbie has asked for a second date. In all honesty I know the first date ended on a somewhat positive note but I think it still left a bad taste in my mouth. I just don't know if I'm up to having a 2nd date? You know how the book goes maybe he's just not that into you well I just don't think I'm THAT into him. And to be quite honest we may have had one whole 3 minute conversation since the last date. I mean c'mon dude I know people get busy but I am a FIRM believer that people make time for the things that they want to make time for. So with that being said I just don't know about granting him a second request. I'm trying to keep an open mind though so we'll see. ...

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Ex-Factor....

So this weekend I went to NYC in hopes of finding "NEW" friends (men). Unfortunately that didn't pan out but its all good. For the record I had a ball regardless. So when I got back I got an instant message from one ex and an email from another. Both wanting to see me. Now I don't go backwards (I try not to) but a free outing is a free outing. So I chose the ex I hadn't seen in awhile but I have actually been thinking about him. So it worked out perfect. We went out to eat. And I must've been nervous because I just kept rambling on about nothing really while he just kinda watched me. I honestly don't think I ever really looked him in his face. Maybe I was afraid he'd hypnotize me and I'd just be a fool in love all over again or that I'd jump his bones (it happens). Now granted this still was a dangerous move for me because this particular ex I do still have feelings for. But like everything else they too shall pass. So overall it was a nice dinner quick lil catch up but somewhat awkward. Then he asked for a hug I think I had avoided it on purpose. But at the end of the night I gave him a hug and I swear he didn't want to let go and frankly neither did I. But the night ended well. He even emailed me when he got home to let me know it was really good seeing me. I'm like wow get it together girlfriend. Yesterday I fell asleep with a smile and this morning I woke up with one. Oh how I miss that man. I must remember he's an ex for a REASON along with the other busters.
So while on my way to NY I get a text from the new guy. I must say I was surprised. Not because I didn't expect him to ever contact me again just surprised that he was wishing me well on my trip and couldn't wait to see me again. Wow so maybe he really isn't that much a jerk after all. lol. That was kind of my end impression. So we'll see what happens with that. Actually I just got an email from him. lol. Hopefully it's a good one. Ugh pretty vague but its okay.
I must say that I don't know if some of the exes have bumped their head but they have been in contact with me as of late. I mean I don't mind hanging out with some of them because honestly no HARD feelings we didn't work out and there's a reason for it. But it also makes me think why are you all of a sudden contacting me? Are you bored? Or do you remember that I'm probably one of the best things you had going for you? Whatever the case is I'm enjoying it because actually the ball is in my court. And I don't have to see them if I don't want to and no explanation needed. But there's one who we did hang out recently and he seems in love. Okay it's not that serious buddy. Fall back a lil because we just hung out that one time and granted we had a nice time I'm not trying to take it there. So as nicely as I try to let him know it is what it is I don't think this particular ex factor is getting it. So what's a girl to do....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The New Guy

Yesterday was my first date with the new guy. And as much as I anticipated it I'm going to have to give it 3 out of 5 stars. First of all I got turned around trying to get to the restaurant. Then I couldn't find parking and I was now late. : ( So through all of that I managed to make my way to the restaurant. Well my date was sitting there outside waiting for me on his laptop (not a problem). I say hi. He barely looks up and continues to work on his laptop. Umm hello I am here so I just take a seat beside him until he's finished up. But now since I received this shady sort of response and unfriendly greeting (not even a smile) I turn shady. And my whole demeanor and attitude changed. I wasn't nasty I was just quiet. He immediately sensed that something was wrong and proceeded to question me about it. I didn't even want to get into it so I said nothing and smiled. As I'm looking at the menu I look up to ask him something and he's not there. So I'm thinking wtf. The waitress then comes over and asks if there are 2 of us and I look confused because Idk where my date went. But then he returns and doesn't say anything. At this point I'm just like let me let the shadiness go. This is the first date let's see what happens. So then he starts to question me again about my "malfunction" as he called it. My attitude. My shadiness. Whatever. So I begin telling him that I just gave back what I got. And he explains that he was doing work and couldn't just stop. So I say okay that's understandable. The rest of the night is okay with some forced conversation but we manage. After dinner we go to talk and he brings back up the beginning of the date. So I break it down to him and explain that he wasn't very friendly when I walked up and that he didn't even acknowledge my presence. He tried to come back by saying that if I had walked up on my cell I probably would've done the same. I explained to him that I wouldn't because I would've at least smiled, acknowledged him and held my finger up to let him know to wait a sec. So then he understood and agreed that he could've been better. And then he apologized. So after that the night was quite smooth. I'm glad that we cleared that up. But this guy is a lot more serious than most guys I date. So right now I'm on the fence but I'll give it another shot and see where this leads. But strangely enough the newbie has me thinking about the previous ex. That's another story.