Monday, July 7, 2008

The Ex-Factor....

So this weekend I went to NYC in hopes of finding "NEW" friends (men). Unfortunately that didn't pan out but its all good. For the record I had a ball regardless. So when I got back I got an instant message from one ex and an email from another. Both wanting to see me. Now I don't go backwards (I try not to) but a free outing is a free outing. So I chose the ex I hadn't seen in awhile but I have actually been thinking about him. So it worked out perfect. We went out to eat. And I must've been nervous because I just kept rambling on about nothing really while he just kinda watched me. I honestly don't think I ever really looked him in his face. Maybe I was afraid he'd hypnotize me and I'd just be a fool in love all over again or that I'd jump his bones (it happens). Now granted this still was a dangerous move for me because this particular ex I do still have feelings for. But like everything else they too shall pass. So overall it was a nice dinner quick lil catch up but somewhat awkward. Then he asked for a hug I think I had avoided it on purpose. But at the end of the night I gave him a hug and I swear he didn't want to let go and frankly neither did I. But the night ended well. He even emailed me when he got home to let me know it was really good seeing me. I'm like wow get it together girlfriend. Yesterday I fell asleep with a smile and this morning I woke up with one. Oh how I miss that man. I must remember he's an ex for a REASON along with the other busters.
So while on my way to NY I get a text from the new guy. I must say I was surprised. Not because I didn't expect him to ever contact me again just surprised that he was wishing me well on my trip and couldn't wait to see me again. Wow so maybe he really isn't that much a jerk after all. lol. That was kind of my end impression. So we'll see what happens with that. Actually I just got an email from him. lol. Hopefully it's a good one. Ugh pretty vague but its okay.
I must say that I don't know if some of the exes have bumped their head but they have been in contact with me as of late. I mean I don't mind hanging out with some of them because honestly no HARD feelings we didn't work out and there's a reason for it. But it also makes me think why are you all of a sudden contacting me? Are you bored? Or do you remember that I'm probably one of the best things you had going for you? Whatever the case is I'm enjoying it because actually the ball is in my court. And I don't have to see them if I don't want to and no explanation needed. But there's one who we did hang out recently and he seems in love. Okay it's not that serious buddy. Fall back a lil because we just hung out that one time and granted we had a nice time I'm not trying to take it there. So as nicely as I try to let him know it is what it is I don't think this particular ex factor is getting it. So what's a girl to do....


AmenRa said...

I think we are mature enough now to be able to give some of our exes a little room. I'm not saying to forgive and forget, just allow them to state their case and keep an open mind. As you said: the ball is in your court. Let them make their attempts to prove to you that they have grown, because people do grow. Just avoid the ones that you still have strong feelings for because it makes it hard for you to keep a level head when judging their progress in maturity and you will end up falling into the same holes.

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