Monday, March 9, 2009

Single Girl Dating Policies


So I’ve come to the conclusion that all men know what to do on a date. Not all men know proper dating etiquette. Now that can be for several reasons: they have no manners, the female(s) before have never expected them to, or they just don’t care. Most recently on MTV’s from G’s to Gents the G’s had a lesson on etiquette. They then had to display what they learned while on a date with Esther Baxter. It was quite hilarious how so many of them were clueless. Now I’m not saying all men have to follow this because not all women are into chivalry. However, I can say that this young lady right here is. And I don’t mean do these things ONLY on the first date. This should be done all the time especially if you’re dealing with a LADY. So listen up.

  • Please be sure to be well groomed. I mean I spent my 30 min in the shower and another 30 figuring out what to wear, another 30 doing my hair, and another 30 putting on makeup and other finishing touches. So if I took ALL of that time trying to make sure I look and smell good then the least you can do is the same. Hair should be combed, teeth and breath fresh, shoes shouldn’t be dirty or your clothes, jeans shouldn’t hang down to your kneecaps- we are adults dress like one, and most importantly your hands should be clean.

  • Please open all doors (including my car-even if I’m the driver) and pull out chairs if we’re out dining somewhere. And when I say open the doors I don’t mean open the door and you walk through. I mean open and hold the door let me walk through first and then you do the same. And as far as the car you can miss this one sometimes, I’ll let you slide.

  • Please if we’re going out to eat, I don’t care if it’s just IHOP- you should not be eating your food with your hands. That’s why we have eating utensils. It’s okay for certain foods but no for all. Basically if we’re out to eat, especially at a nice restaurant please turn your manners up a notch. That means no elbows on the table, no reaching across the table, no talking with your mouth full, no licking your fingers afterwards, no wearing your hat in the restaurant, put your napkin in your lap when the food first arrives, etc… If you need more dining manners Google it. I’m not saying you have to know which fork goes with what because even I don’t know all that but it may impress me if you do. Just know the basics. Lol.

  • And while we’re on the subject of eating please, please, please do not get onions or at least try not to eat them. Well not if you’re planning on kissing me. I can’t stand onions and onion breath is not easy to tame. I can offer you a hundred and one mints and I will still smell it, which will then make me turn my nose up in disgust. But if you MUST have onions have some mouthwash, toothbrush, or something just as strong on hand because gum and mints don’t always do the trick.

  • Please make sure that if we STOP at a gas station and you happen to be RIDING in my whip to get your a** out and pump the gas. I’m not saying you have to pay it (which would be nice since I am driving) but at least get out and pump. It’s the least you could do.

  • Please don’t be all loud and ghetto and all on your cell phone. Don't be cursing and whatnot all loud in public when do you have to take a call. I mean its okay to take a call here and there-well not really. Lol. But if it’s a call you were expecting or an emergency. Other than that the phone should be on silence, vibrate, or better yet off-you’re with me. Focus!!!

  • Eye contact is great. Don’t be looking at my booty or anywhere else for that matter. At least if we have good eye contact I know that you are focused on me and paying ME attention. That is always a plus!!!! (I could do better at this myself)

  • Being on time is a MUST. How can I wait on you when I’m already 10-15 min late? Lol. I’m late because of all that prep time I took to get ready for YOU so please try to be on time. And if I am on time and you’re not oh we’re going to have some problems. Both of us can’t be late. Lol. But I’m not a total witch about being on time if you know how to pick up the phone and call and say,”hey sorry but I am running late because of x, y, z.” I shouldn’t have to call your phone like 15-20 min after meeting time like “hey where are you?” No. That’s not cool. So just try to be on time. Leave the being late up to me. : )

  • Please don’t be super arrogant and so stuck on yourself that you talk a whole in MY head about YOU. It’s okay if I’m asking you questions about yourself but when you randomly start throwing out who you know, how much you make, and what you got then I’m already uninterested. Keep that to a minimum. And on the flip side don’t be a COMPLETE mute. I like to talk and I would appreciate someone to have a conversation with. Not just me yapping and you listening. It gets boring and old really fast. So if you think you won’t have much to say then maybe you should stay home.

  • This is an ultimate no- DO NOT come to pick me up for a date and sit outside blowing the horn. Be a gentleman. Get your lazy tail out of your car and walk to my door and ring my bell. Now this usually does not apply to me since I usually meet guys out as I don’t like people at my house. But this should apply anyway for anybody else.

  • And last but not least if you ask ME on a date I expect YOU to pay. Not for us to go dutch or for you to ask for help on the bill. You should be paying in full. I’m not saying we can’t ever go dutch or that I can’t sometimes pay for the date because I do but that needs to be discussed prior to so that I know what I’m getting myself into.

All in all dating should be about having fun. And we shouldn’t have rules but unfortunately we do. All I want is to be treated like a lady. I act like a lady so why not try treating me like one. It’s the least you can do and we’ll have a wonderful time. : )

And not ALL dudes totally disregard etiquette just some of the few I seem to pick up.

7 comments:

Blaque Diamond said...

AMEN! AMEN !AMEN!

Now I must admit that I am one who is always late I mean always, but I don’t think 10 or 15 minutes is actually late especially if I’m meeting you! But like you said, we did it for them so we are not late.

I am guilty of two things…I don’t like to talk much but I will text you to death and please don’t think you are coming to my house! I don’t care how long I we have been friend, dating, going out or whatever title you want to put on it, but if I don’t invite you in it’s because I don’t want you to meet my family or I’m not ready for that that next step of you meeting my family.

Those are both things I need to work on

Anonymous said...

yea...just like in steve harvey book he explains why men should act this way. We tell them time and time again and yet nothing...i blame it on laziness. (oh and videos)

Anonymous said...

The Gentleman...oh how we love him so much. He does all the little things that make u feel so special.
Now I'm a nice guy, but I'm a little ruff around the edges. I won't blame it on how I was raised. My mom has heard some horror stories lol. I do feel that a man should treat a lady right, but what if your manners aren't correct? Does the female just write you off. What if you aren't really use to all the dating rules? I believe that I have to understand that I have to grow up. All women are not the same and those things don't matter to some as much as others.
Does that mean I should be more selective? I think those rules apply to all women. Just cuz she doesn't care if you get the door doesn't mean she wouldn't like you to be nice. I grew up like " what makes you so special....cuz your a woman. You were born with 2 hands so you can get the door no problem lol" I felt like the whole charade just...extra. I mean all the dude wants to get is some p@s$y that's why he is so nice...not because he is nice or even cares what you have to say.
I think i listened to to much got damn too short and snoop as a youth. The ladies always seem to like these kinda guys so much. Nice guys finished last where I'm from.In these late 20's women come to the realization that they want a nice guy. They are tired of the thugs and want a change of pace. I'm supposed to be nice to yall now? There has to be a time when you grow up though and I like a woman with class...who wants to be treated that way.
I would just hope that you women don't write someone off because his elbows are on the table or he ate the calamari with his hands. You could miss out on a great human that could actually learn from you.
How many times have u met a gentleman that turned out to be an asshole once you opened up your legs?

Anonymous said...

Good read for men and women both!!! i myself have not been on the dating scene in some time now but these are def things to keep in mind!! :)

Anonymous said...

Hero G, we are not writing you guys off if you are a little rough around the edges or need some "polishing"~lol. However, all we ask is to be treated like class when we display it. Like if we are dressed nice, (nice dress, hair done, been polite/sweet) then we expect to be treated nice if out on date. We don't expect McDonalds drive thru, rap blasted in our ears because the bass to loud in the crown vic, then going over friend's house cause they got the BOMB oweeedddd.

Respect and to be treated like classly ladies is all we want. Shivelery maybe dead to most, but not forgotten by the ladies.

Most ladies know all mean want when first meeting a woman is the cookie. However, most women with class will not give it up until some needs/respect is given.

Anonymous said...

I second that Anonymous.... I don't believe a male shoudl just be written off just because they don't have manners because we (women) can teach and show you the proper way we want to be treated. Or at the least let you know off the top how we EXPECT to be treated. Most importantly we deserve respect whether it's from a thug or even a nice dude doesn't matter. But yeah no McD's with the crown royal or old Impala smelling like smoke and that's what you want me to get into and go with. Naw. do your research and find out what I'm about then whine and dine me the RIGHT way. And at the end of the day nice guy, jerk, whoever they all turn up a**holes pussy or not. lol

Anonymous said...

You ladies are correct. You should be treated like queens and I always believed in chivalry even as a young boi. I didn't lose my way. I haven't been on many dates. Maybe casual dates with friends that turned into friend friends. I was listening to this Willie D song today(that I first heard at age 11 lol) called "I'm not a muthafukkin gentleman". If you women heard this song you would cringe, but Willie D is married with daughters now. I wonder If i told his daughters the same shit would he be mad. I was a little salty in my last post, but it was mostly because I was on a date and made all the mistakes that "single gal" was talking about. My date made sure that I knew I was making these mistakes and it made me feel pretty inept. The way she would point them out was kinda harsh as well. I wasn't being an asshole on the date. I was like slum dog millionaire...I had a honest story for why i didn't do erything lol.
It was mostly from not dating and not dating a woman that has dated plenty. The date was like a disaster of sorts and I second guessed erything the whole night. If she wasn't so interesting and beautiful I would have just rolled out lol. I think you woman should demand more from your men. It would prolly help if the assholes that I knew weren't so successful with the ladies.
Stop settling and y'all should be fine. If I read this blog before my date I would've been the prince charming that I naturally am. Where is "single gal" when you need her lol. I am sure I will be better from now on. Just don't write him off if you see potential. Rome wasn't built in a day ladies. This dating shit is allot of work though. I guess if you want anything good you have to search for it and work to get it. See how much I've grown in like a week....progress ladies its possible lol