Sunday, March 29, 2009
What's a SINGLE girl to do?
Monday, March 9, 2009
Single Girl Dating Policies

So I’ve come to the conclusion that all men know what to do on a date. Not all men know proper dating etiquette. Now that can be for several reasons: they have no manners, the female(s) before have never expected them to, or they just don’t care. Most recently on MTV’s from G’s to Gents the G’s had a lesson on etiquette. They then had to display what they learned while on a date with Esther Baxter. It was quite hilarious how so many of them were clueless. Now I’m not saying all men have to follow this because not all women are into chivalry. However, I can say that this young lady right here is. And I don’t mean do these things ONLY on the first date. This should be done all the time especially if you’re dealing with a LADY. So listen up.
- Please be sure to be well groomed. I mean I spent my 30 min in the shower and another 30 figuring out what to wear, another 30 doing my hair, and another 30 putting on makeup and other finishing touches. So if I took ALL of that time trying to make sure I look and smell good then the least you can do is the same. Hair should be combed, teeth and breath fresh, shoes shouldn’t be dirty or your clothes, jeans shouldn’t hang down to your kneecaps- we are adults dress like one, and most importantly your hands should be clean.
- Please open all doors (including my car-even if I’m the driver) and pull out chairs if we’re out dining somewhere. And when I say open the doors I don’t mean open the door and you walk through. I mean open and hold the door let me walk through first and then you do the same. And as far as the car you can miss this one sometimes, I’ll let you slide.
- Please if we’re going out to eat, I don’t care if it’s just IHOP- you should not be eating your food with your hands. That’s why we have eating utensils. It’s okay for certain foods but no for all. Basically if we’re out to eat, especially at a nice restaurant please turn your manners up a notch. That means no elbows on the table, no reaching across the table, no talking with your mouth full, no licking your fingers afterwards, no wearing your hat in the restaurant, put your napkin in your lap when the food first arrives, etc… If you need more dining manners Google it. I’m not saying you have to know which fork goes with what because even I don’t know all that but it may impress me if you do. Just know the basics. Lol.
- And while we’re on the subject of eating please, please, please do not get onions or at least try not to eat them. Well not if you’re planning on kissing me. I can’t stand onions and onion breath is not easy to tame. I can offer you a hundred and one mints and I will still smell it, which will then make me turn my nose up in disgust. But if you MUST have onions have some mouthwash, toothbrush, or something just as strong on hand because gum and mints don’t always do the trick.
- Please make sure that if we STOP at a gas station and you happen to be RIDING in my whip to get your a** out and pump the gas. I’m not saying you have to pay it (which would be nice since I am driving) but at least get out and pump. It’s the least you could do.
- Please don’t be all loud and ghetto and all on your cell phone. Don't be cursing and whatnot all loud in public when do you have to take a call. I mean its okay to take a call here and there-well not really. Lol. But if it’s a call you were expecting or an emergency. Other than that the phone should be on silence, vibrate, or better yet off-you’re with me. Focus!!!
- Eye contact is great. Don’t be looking at my booty or anywhere else for that matter. At least if we have good eye contact I know that you are focused on me and paying ME attention. That is always a plus!!!! (I could do better at this myself)
- Being on time is a MUST. How can I wait on you when I’m already 10-15 min late? Lol. I’m late because of all that prep time I took to get ready for YOU so please try to be on time. And if I am on time and you’re not oh we’re going to have some problems. Both of us can’t be late. Lol. But I’m not a total witch about being on time if you know how to pick up the phone and call and say,”hey sorry but I am running late because of x, y, z.” I shouldn’t have to call your phone like 15-20 min after meeting time like “hey where are you?” No. That’s not cool. So just try to be on time. Leave the being late up to me. : )
- Please don’t be super arrogant and so stuck on yourself that you talk a whole in MY head about YOU. It’s okay if I’m asking you questions about yourself but when you randomly start throwing out who you know, how much you make, and what you got then I’m already uninterested. Keep that to a minimum. And on the flip side don’t be a COMPLETE mute. I like to talk and I would appreciate someone to have a conversation with. Not just me yapping and you listening. It gets boring and old really fast. So if you think you won’t have much to say then maybe you should stay home.
- This is an ultimate no- DO NOT come to pick me up for a date and sit outside blowing the horn. Be a gentleman. Get your lazy tail out of your car and walk to my door and ring my bell. Now this usually does not apply to me since I usually meet guys out as I don’t like people at my house. But this should apply anyway for anybody else.
- And last but not least if you ask ME on a date I expect YOU to pay. Not for us to go dutch or for you to ask for help on the bill. You should be paying in full. I’m not saying we can’t ever go dutch or that I can’t sometimes pay for the date because I do but that needs to be discussed prior to so that I know what I’m getting myself into.
All in all dating should be about having fun. And we shouldn’t have rules but unfortunately we do. All I want is to be treated like a lady. I act like a lady so why not try treating me like one. It’s the least you can do and we’ll have a wonderful time. : )
And not ALL dudes totally disregard etiquette just some of the few I seem to pick up.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Dating Tips (not mine-lol)
Pray – Before you even leave home to meet your date you need to spend time on your knees asking God to help you honor Him and your date. You can never go wrong with prayer. This will also put you in the proper mind-set for your time together.
Talk a lot – There’s no better way to get to know someone than by talking to them about a wide variety of topics. The more you talk, the more you will begin to know if this might be a relationship that you should pursue.
Let’s be friends! – This is an important dating tip to remember. Don’t forget that until you are married the person you are dating could be some one else’s future mate. When you begin dating someone there is a lot of pressure to move things along much too quickly. Choose to keep your relationship on a friendship level. The longer you can remain 'just friends', the better your relationship will be if you decide to get married at some point.
It's great being married to your best friend!
Pray in groups – What in the world does that mean? This sounds like an odd dating tip. What we’re suggesting is that you don’t pray together alone as a couple too early in your relationship. Prayer is so very important in any relationship so please don't misunderstand this point. When you pray with someone of the opposite sex that you care about you begin to build a level of intimacy that can often lead to trouble.
The goal in any Christian relationship is to honor God. Prayer is intimate communication with God and can draw couples together in ways not intended if you are not careful. It’s better to pray together when you are with other Christians. This will help keep the focus on God and not allow thoughts and emotions to wander to prohibited areas.
Choose to not kiss – At least until you are engaged to be married. Okay, this can be extremely difficult, but if you can follow this one dating tip then most of the others will happen naturally. Even kissing once you are engaged can be very dangerous. It’s better to not kiss at all until your wedding day! Before you laugh and click to another page with thoughts that we must be insane, consider these points on kissing.
A kiss begins to sexually stimulate a man (and woman) instantly.
If you aren’t kissing then you won’t become tempted to take things to a more intimate level. You’ll be protecting yourself and the purity of your date.
If a Christian man is kissing his date and it gives him an erection (often just the possibility of a kiss can do this), is God or his date being honored?
Is this healthy for the man to get sexually aroused time after time without sexual release? When men become sexually aroused a large amount of blood flows to the genitals. If ejaculation does not occur; the build up of blood can become painful. That just can't be a good thing for anyone! Ouch! :O)
A kiss will surely break down your barriers and leave you in a position that could ultimately devastate your relationship with your date and separate you from a close walk with God. Self-control seems to be the better option.
Just think how magical that first kiss will be if it is saved for your wedding day!
Include another couple – You will find that physical issues are much less distracting if you plan most of your dating situations to include other couples. Group dates can be a lot of fun and you’ll also be helping your friends maintain purity in their relationships as well.
Always treat each other with respect – If you respect the person you are with then you won’t say or do things that will intentionally hurt them. Ask yourself 'what would Jesus do?' and then do it!
Please don’t simply read these dating tips and then not try to apply any of them to your dating situations. Dating is a wonderful experience and should be enjoyed by both people in the relationship. If you came searching for these dating tips then you have a desire to honor your date and honor God with the choices you will make while dating.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Happy Dating...
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sexual Dating...when????
So within the last two weeks I have posed a question to my friends. When you're dating someone when is the best time to have sex? I got a variety of answers from the first date to three months, even wait till marriage (I don't know about that-lol) or when the time is right. But how do you know when the time is right? Now I know that we are adults (at least we should be) but you still want to have some type of restraint. Don't you? I mean I would say do what you feel but at the same time I don't want the guy looking at me sideways plus been there done that. And I feel that as we mature things change. Sex isn't the same for me as it was a few years ago. I guess I'm just not into casual sex. It gets old and unforfilling. So then what do you do? Back to the same question because you can't bone EVERY guy you meet or date (at least I'd hope not-lol) but to each its own. So when is the best time? I read an article that says to wait at least a month and that sounds reasonable because by then you should have had a few dates and gotten to know the person a lil better. And the saying is true that sex is more emotional for women (at least some), I know it is for me. If I'm not really feeling the person on some type of level then its not happening and if it does happen by some chance then it won't be good. Honestly for me sex can make or break a date or sometimes even a relationship. lol. I mean if its good (wish I'm praying it is) then everything is good but if its not then damn wtf. lol. It's almost as if the attraction goes down hill but it also all depends on the timing. And that's why its so key to have it at the right time and not to rush. So the moral of the story is if you want something out of your dating friend then maybe its best not to rush and wait for the RIGHT time or you could just be a sex object. lol.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Stalker Date

Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Interracial Dating

I was watching the Black in America series and there was a young black woman on there who spoke of her white husband and biracial children. She talked about how his family would make remarks about their relationship and not just his family but strangers in passing as well. Again why is it that people feel they can pass judgement on other people's relationships? I hear the stories about the black women who get upset when they see a white woman dating a black man. Who cares? Why is it any of your concern? Clearly that's who he chose and you shouldn't be trying to figure out what went wrong and why he didn't choose you or someone else. That is his preference just like we all have preferences. Why should we knock someone for their decision.
Something New was a movie in which a black woman starts dating a white man. She has to deal with her feelings for this man as well as the reaction of her family, friends, and strangers. And I could completely understand what she was going through. You want to try "something new" but then you're afraid because you don't know what peoples reactions are going to be. And not that someones reaction should dictate your relationship but you feel uncomfortable when you hear remarks and stares just because of who you are with. You feel uncomfortable to hold their hand, kiss them in public but at the same time you don't want the uncomfortableness to show through. You want everything to seem normal just as if you were out with someone of your own race. You try to get past the uncomfortableness but its hard. And then eventually I'm sure it gets to a point where you just say Fu*k it. Anyway I don't really know where I am going with this I just needed to get my thoughts out. But people need to either mind their business or be more open minded. This is the new millennium let's get it together.....it's no longer Jungle Fever you can't help who you love....... so I'm going to keep pressing on and try to move pass the haters and keep dating whomever I want whether they be purple, Asian, or whatever. I just want peace and happiness.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Annoying Date

need to chill. What's the rush? Just take it easy. To add to it if you're meeting someone online and we DON'T know each other please be easy. I had to delete one guy because he was just asking too many questions after about 3 hours of me starting my account. I already knew where he worked, lived, his phone # and email. I'm like wow you waste no time. And maybe that's me being cautious but the whole over the top look is not cute-you're doing too much. Just fall back a bit. This is not the case for all guys but there are a few that fall through the cracks and it makes you wonder why they maybe single..... Monday, July 28, 2008
Dating 101

b. One's companion on such an outing.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Dating in Cyberspace or should I say MYspace
I've never been the one to venture to cyberspace for a date. I mean the idea sounded really crazy to me at first but now I'm not so sure. I mean I think I may actually be open to the idea. I've been reading articles and watching news programs where more and more couples are actually meeting online and getting married. Is this just a fad? a fake? or the real thing? I see the commercials for Match.com all the time and now they're even offering a promotion. I may just have to take them up on that and see what the possibilities may be. But then I go back and forth with myself and it brings me back to my original reasons for staying away from online dating. My reasons are what if this guy is a nutcase? but then again I guess that can qualify for any person you meet. What if this is not the person that he says he is? I mean let's say we swap pics and then we meet up and you look nothing like your pic isn't that a false pretense? I'm not being superficial either I'm just saying if I think you look like one thing and then you come off like wtf. lol. True story that happened to my friend. She had been talking to this guy on my space for awhile and then they met up for drinks well he was NOT at all what he looked like in the pics. The actual picture he sent was a throwback pic but at least she stayed had a drink on him of course and left never to contact him again. I know you may think she was wrong if she was feeling him prior to but isn't that a form of deception? Anyway my last reason is you just can never tell. I would much rather meet you face to face and follow my instincts then get caught up. I guess that's me being cautious. Anyway I think I may actually get a MYspace account just to see what this online dating is all about. I mean you never know my prince may come through for me right there on my screen... I'm open to the thought.....Thursday, July 17, 2008
Childless Dating

Monday, July 14, 2008
Second Date??? Maybe....

Monday, July 7, 2008
The Ex-Factor....

Wednesday, July 2, 2008
The New Guy
Friday, June 27, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Dating Game

I went out on a date a few weeks back with a gentleman who I met about 2 years ago at a party. He's a friend of a friend. And its weird because I think we both know that we are NOT meant to be but its still ok to go out on a date and catch up from time to time so we did. We actually went on a double date and my friend that was also with us commented after the date-it's been 2 years maybe he's not that into you. I had to turn it on her and inform my friend that I am just not that into him. And this particular gentleman and I go out one time maybe every 4-5 months. I guess we're both bored so we just see each other. But once we go out its almost like we realize why we don't go out and why we haven't spoken in months. And since our last date we have not spoken-it happens everytime but I am not worried. He'll call back sometime I guess.
Moving right along there's a new guy in the picture. He and I met almost the same way at a friend's birthday party. So far so good. He seems nice. We've had 2 long conversations in total. One of my friends has met him and she thinks he's pretty nice. We actually have an upcoming date that I am excited about. I'll have to tell you how it goes......
